Male Androgyny

I love 70s glam rock. I was all over that when I was a kid and teen in the early 90s. T-Rex, Bowie, Aerosmith, Iggy Pop.

I always loved the androgynous look, but never pursued it for myself. I didn’t want to be coming at androgyny from an androgynous-woman angle. Though I thought that sort of woman looked cool. I wanted to be an androgynous man.

And nobody I’d ever heard of, famous or personally, went from woman to androgynous-glam male.

People would tell me when I was younger, that there was nothing wrong with being an androgynous woman if that’s what I wanted to be. They’d point to people like Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich. And I didn’t have the language to tell them that it would be, for me, coming to androgyny from the wrong “direction”.

I found myself real frustrated with the idea of presenting as a masculine or androgynous woman. It just didn’t fit me. I kept wanting to be a little…fancier than that somehow. But that always got read as simply feminine.

And I wasn’t a glam woman at all. Dressing up even slightly triggered my dysphoria. In order to feel safe, I had to dress fairly drab, and I hated it.

Even later in life when I met a couple of trans guys, they were either masc, or “normal guys”, if that makes sense. Nothing I felt I could relate to.

It was so illuminating to me two summers ago to realize I could transition to male, then approach androgyny from that place. It had literally never occurred to me before then, that people would want to transition to male so that they could look like feminine or fancy men. It’s one of the two main things that kept me from realizing I was trans for so long. I didn’t want to look butch or super masc, and I thought all trans guys did (the other factor being that I was into guys, and I’d thought all trans men had been lesbians).

As soon as I figured out that my actual style was meant to hang off a dude’s body and not a lady’s, it all made sense.