Trans Male Sexuality

I think there’s also a lot of shame trans guys uncover as they develop what society would call “masculine sexuality”. Women are shamed for having anything like it, and trans guys get doubly shamed. Male sexuality is seen as bad, harmful, unpleasant to deal with, and incompatible with love. What kind of asshole would choose that?

Male sexuality doesn’t make anyone into a jerk. Being a jerk does that. Male sexuality is great.

There’s an unspoken policing of trans men. Many people unconsciously insist on seeing us as women, and therefore that our bodies and sexuality are public property to be decided by committee. No gender should go through that.

There’s no law that dictates cis men have to be sexless to be good, or that their sexuality has to be soft and wholesome or else it’s evil. Holding trans men to a different standard is transphobia.

And male puberty shouldn’t be mocked, whatever the age of the guy going through it. Like female puberty, it’s a powerful time, and should be treated with dignity and kindness. Are there funny parts? Of course. But it’s not a joke. It can be gorgeous.

Not all trans guys experience an increased libido as some sort of embarrassing frustration. It’s made me feel more alive, alert, and positively influenced my creativity. Some trans guys might feel embarrassed of it or be glad if it lowers again, but the unspoken expectation that they should feel that way always struck me as a little shaming and nearly misandrist.