Autoandrophilia, Or Whatever

There’s definitely a sexual aspect of transitioning for some of us. I’ve been hesitant to talk about it here because I can’t figure out how to not sound like a narcissistic pervert.

But sometimes I look in the mirror and feel turned on by some change or another, or just the overall process of transition.

There is something strangely sexy and powerful about basically shapeshifting into what you always wanted to be. I think it’s less about self-fetishization, and more a combination of finally getting a chance to feel the “right” kind of attractive (like cis people get to feel during/after first puberty), and what a huge contrast that is to dysphoria.

And also that, as we transition and align more with ourselves, it frees up all this vitality that can come out as sex drive, and feel really linked to the process of changing. Like changing for the better feels so good, we can almost inadvertently condition ourselves to get turned on by it.

I don’t believe being trans is caused by autogynephilia and whatever the unnamed trans-man version would be called. I do know that some people in this world are narcissistic enough to be primarily turned on by themselves, either as their assigned gender or presenting as another gender. But I think that’s a separate situation from most trans folks. I mean, cis people can go to that headspace too.

Also, if you have feelings for men, it’s not unnatural to look at your own male body and sometimes think “damn”, if you’re looking good. That’s not self fetishization, just a bit of self-objectification, and I don’t think it would be a problem unless you were so obsessed with your looks you lost the experience of yourself as sexually subjective, or became blind to the beauty of others.