Testosterone: Week 4/Month One

First and foremost, it’s going to have been one of the best decisions I ever made, I can already tell. I didn’t have much doubt that it would be, but this month has confirmed it, and that’s so validating.

I’m pretty certain that anyone, after giving T a try, will be able to feel at some point if it’s right for them. You feel different, and for some of us, it’s the difference we were looking for.

I’ve had some facial masculinization, though it’s hard to pinpoint, even my paranoid ass can’t deny it’s happened. My voice is deeper and feels like it’s getting ready to figure out where it wants to go. I’m hungrier and sleepier. I have the sense of smell of a bloodhound. Music sounds awesomer, more 3D. Sex drive is about the same (slightly higher than average). I’ve had noticeable bottom growth. I smell like a guy now somehow. That’s the change that amuses me the most.

Mentally I feel more confident in myself and my gay-femme appearance, and am less shattered by misgendering, more just stoically annoyed. Probably because I know I’m doing something substantial about it. I’m less patient with bullshit, but more patient and centered about things I know will be improving. Much less emotionally volatile–that post-realization, pre-T bit really is the worst. I have more confidence to attack my goals and get things done, no more feeling so overwhelmed. I can still cry, write, coo at my kitty, and put myself in other people’s shoes.

I don’t appear to be becoming a hairy jerkass bastard overnight. Perhaps next month?